This is Jack’s view of the dog show circuit. Priceless!!!!
And in Jack’s words:
The Old Man’s phone ringing got us all up early the next morning. We had breakfast just like at home — dog food and cottage cheese. I really think I could eat a ton of cottage cheese. Then we went to a place nearby where there were more dogs than I’ve ever seen before. More even than the big bunch of dogs that all looked like Katie and me in Ven-Tour-Ah, the trip before last. Mom and the Old Man called it a dog show, but if that’s what it was, why weren’t the dogs all watching the show? Instead they were all parading around. Very strange.
We got out and walked around and all of a sudden, my First Mom walked up. She’s nice. I remember her from when I was really little, before I came to live with Mom and the Old Man. I was pretty sick and she took care of me. I haven’t seen her since Ven-Tour-Ah. Then the Old Man got out a new collar and little short leash, put them on me and took off my regular one. First Mom took the leash and ran me around for a while, like we did at Ven-Tour-Ah. It’s pretty strange. I have to run alongside First Mom with my head up, then I have to stand there with her while she picks up my feet and puts them down again in a different place. Then she holds my head up so I can only look in one direction. I can’t see any reason for this behavior at all. I wasn’t about to fall over or anything and I like to look around. Besides, doesn’t she know I can see clear out either side of my head without turning it? Particularly if something is moving. How would my dog ancestors have caught their dinner if they could only look straight ahead? Why would they want to only look straight ahead?
Anyway, after a few minutes of that nonsense, she hands the leash back to the Old Man and we stand around. And we stand around. And we stand around some more. I couldn’t play with the other guys and girls who looked just like me. I couldn’t do anything but stand around. Yeesh.
Then First Mom comes over, grabs my leash and we run out into this big open space. I couldn’t see the Old Man or Mom or Katie. I like First Mom okay, but the Old Man, Mom and Katie are my pack and I don’t like not being able to at least see them. I would prefer to be next to them, but at least seeing them. So I jumped around a little bit, but First Mom wasn’t having any of that, so I had to finally just stand there. She did that foot moving thing again and then held my head up. Another lady who I didn’t know, came over and sort of petted me and felt my legs and then lifted my flews to look in at my teeth. They were still there, just like I knew they were. People are really strange. After a few minutes, the strange lady handed First Mom a little blue thing and we went back out to the Old Man. I don’t know what that blue thing was, but it didn’t smell like anything to eat, so I can’t imagine why anybody would want one. I know it was blue, ’cause blue and yellow are the only two colors I can see; the world is blue and yellow and gray.
Then we went back to just standing around. First Mom then went in the big space with some of my cousins and one of my sisters and one aunt. My aunt got a little thingy too, but a gray one. And then we stood around some more. Katie didn’t like it anymore than I did. “Come on, let’s go do something, this is boring!”
After a long while, First Mom came back and got me and we went into the big space with four other dogs. They were grown-ups, like Katie. This time, the Old Man was outside the little fence where I could see him. That was a whole lot better. My kind can’t see very well, everything looks just a little fuzzy, but when the Old Man walks around, I know it’s him and nobody else from the way he walks. If something moves, I can see it. And he was walking around outside in plain view. That made me feel better, so instead of being nervous and fidgety I let First Mom run me around the space, then move my feet around, then hold my head up — but the Old Man moved around to where I could see him with my head up, so it was okay. The strange lady walked around me and the other four guys. Then she handed one of the other guy’s people another of those little blue thingies and we all filed out. This stuff is really stupid. First Mom had a few bits of food that she gave me while we were in the big space, but other that, it’s a waste of time if you ask me. There’s all these people standing around looking at you, but they don’t pet you or give you treats. You can’t go anywhere or run around with the other guys and girls. If I knew how, I would tell the Old Man and Mom that I like going hiking in the mountains or just walking around by the regular house a whole lot more than this stuff. Or playing with the Boys at Gabriel’s Angels. Or even just lying on the sofa. Oh well, one morning of nonsense every once in a while isn’t going to ruin my life. It’s a pretty good one. Lots of food, walks, lot of petting, Mom, Katie, the Old Man, the Boys at GA. Sleeping in a pile with Mom, the Old Man and Katie. Life is good!
Courage’s Gentleman Jack of Wildwest, AKA Jack or Juan Hidalgo
November 21, 2010
